Intergalactic Potty Mouth

I happen to be one of those women who is intelligent, classy, and well-educated.  I also have an uncanny ability to cuss like a sailor. 

I REALLY love a good curse word. 

I like it so much that I attempted to give it up for Lent this year.  Let’s just say that I said a lot of Hail Mary’s and gave up about halfway through.  Next year I’m giving up ice cream.  At least ice cream is within the realm of reason.

I also occasionally use the curse words manufactured for my favorite television shows.  Frell is a good one.  Frak is even better (I like that the “f” and “k” sounds are left intact). Klingon has an endless combination of fabulous insults, many of which I use quite frequently.

I also appreciate cursing via foreign languages.  I’m based in Southern California so I have a nice stash of Spanish curse words at my disposal.  My personal favorite?  Chupa mi verga.  Strange for a lady, I know, but it’s an appropriate phrase for many situations, mostly notably, Los Angeles traffic. 

The best though?  Cursing in Mandarin Chinese a la Firefly.  I have a 2 year old niece who has been studying Mandarin for a year and a half already and frankly, I’m a little worried about my influence on her as she gets older.  Chances are she’ll understand much of what I’m saying and the whole point of cursing in Chinese is that you can get away with cursing around small children and they have no idea what you’re talking about. 

Gotta be careful around that one.

I find it’s best to curse with variety.  It keeps people on their toes and makes for some delightfully interesting cocktail chatter.  Because who honestly gives a shit about the weather or the current interest rates in the housing market anyways?  (Meteorologists and mortgage lenders need not answer that question.)

So, in honor of one of my very favorite pastimes, here is a list of my favorite sci-fi curse words and phrases.  You can thank me in Klingonese.

WARNING:  Uhh…you’ve probably figured this out by now, but there is questionable language ahead…

Klingon:

DenIb Qatlh: Denebian slime devil

hab sosli’ Quch: your mother has a smooth forehead

verengan Ha’DIbaH: Ferengi dog

baktag: shit

Romulan:

Faelirh ch’susse-thrai: son of a bitch

urru Areinnye: go to hell

Amtonwi-kha nvaihr: whore

Battlestar Galactica:

Felgercarb: shit

Frak: fuck

Farscape:

Mivonks: testicles

Eema: ass

Frell: fuck

Firefly:

Tah mah de: mother fucker

Jien tah-duh gway: like hell!

Shee-niou: shit urine

Huh choo-shang tza-jiao duh tzang-huo: animal-fucking bastard

Tian xiz shou you de ren dou gai si: fuck everyone in the universe to death

Gun-hoe-tze-bee-dio-se: engage in a feces hurling contest with a monkey

Star Wars general:

Bantha Fodder: food for a large, slow-moving hairy quadruped

Blast: damn

Laserbrain: dumbass

Huttese:

U kulle rah doe kankee kung: you are my kind of scum.

Peedunky: punk

Poodoo: shit

Ewok:

Kvark: damn

Lurdo: dumbass

Aaaaaaand last but not least:

Wookiee:

RAAAWH RERH: Titties!

**speaking of titties, it’s time for another HNG photo shoot. Go here to vote on the costume**